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Олександр ЯСЕНЧУК

Координатор ГІ "Оновлення країни" по м. Чернігову, КМЦ "Інтермеццо", журналіст

Політичний грип

Капець! На вулиці — епідемія «свинячого» грипу, на носі — вибори, а під носом — бурулька … І ці процеси між собою переплітаються і розплітаються. Перефразовуючи пісню гурту «ТіК», будь-який український малюк може наспівати: «Мене задовбали епідемії й політтехнології. Політики-дебіли й хвороби історії», а потому — сісти у свою коляску і міцно закрити вуха, щоб вберегтися від дорослого маразму.
Народ після виступів деяких політиків-кандидатів у Президенти просто у паніці. Прибігаючи захекано в аптеку, розкуповує геть усе. Включно з гірчичниками, свічками, що допомагає як мертвому припарки. З’явився вже й політичний анекдот: виборець шукає серед кандидатів у президенти людину з медичною освітою і начхати, що це Тягнибок.
А політикам вигідно «мочити» віруси і нагнітати якісь страхи: по-перше, ніхто не порахує, скільки їх загинуло; по-друге, це страшний ворог, але ж не рак чи туберкульоз, де дійсно страшно; по-третє, грипозні віруси не звернуться зі скаргою на геноцид до ООН; по-четверте, це ж фінансово вигідно. Уряд виділив на боротьбу з цією напастю 1,5 млрд гривень, за оцінками експертів використати їх до нового року неможливо, а от розікрасти трошки можна. І з масками цікаво. Виявляється, головне у боротьбі з грипом — не пігулки та вітаміни, а марля, це головне мірило успіху. І тепер кожна область успішно рапортує про успіхи боротьби з грипом через кількість пошитих масок. Маски носять і сильні світу цього, принаймні перед телекамерами. Смішно стає, коли із сумочки від «Луї Віттон» дістається звичайний марлевий намордник, навіть не від Діора, і вдягається на напудрений носик.
На минулих виборах «садили бандитів у тюрми», на цих — боремося із вірусами, на наступних прогнозують порятунок світу і відбиття нападу інопланетян...
Зичу всім успіху, здоров’я та хочу нагадати, як мексиканці торік свій грип перемогли. Вони помірно вживали текілу-самогонку з кактусів та закушували її цибулею. Тепер про грип там майже не хрюкають. Бажаю того ж і вам!
Олександр ЯСЕНЧУК

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